Hello 2024

Dusting off the old keyboard around these parts of the internet. It’s been a while. Isn’t it a funny old thing, when it comes to writing that sometimes the spark just goes and other times it’s like words can’t be typed fast enough. For a long time now I’ve had the real ‘urge’ to sit and write, but at the same time when it comes to doing so, I over-think myself into ‘save draft’. Telling myself I will come back to it later. A classic example of overthinking causing inaction.

But as I sit here and write I am determined to do just that. Write and not be overtaken by my brain asking questions like ‘what with so-and-so think?’ (Whoever so-and-so is, they probably won’t even read it), or ‘Are you adding any value?’ Or even just the ‘why are you bothering’. Well, dear reader – assuming there may be one or two of you who take the time to click and read – the reason I am bothering is because I want to. I miss writing, I miss this being my own little space to share whatever it is I feel I want to write about.

I got so much enjoyment out of my blog – and most of that enjoyment is about the creative process. Which is a fancy way of saying I love taking photos and writing words. So ignoring all the external noise of algorithms, content plans and strategies (I have quite enough of that in my day job as a social media consultant, thank you very much). I want to just write for me. Yes, I do always want to add value where I can – be that in sharing a beauty review or something from a travel experience that might help someone looking to visit the same place. But sometimes, often in fact – I just want to write. Maybe just use this space as a little online journal for a while.

I’m so out of practice with this writing thing that when I sit here wanting to put into words something about why I stepped back from blogging and instagram (beauty world in general) I go a little blank. And let’s be honest, nobody has asked so why I feel the urge to share is purely selfish/cathartic.

I think looking back at it, becoming a Mum in 2018 really did throw me for a loop. Trying to juggle this whole new human, new role and my ‘old life’ was a juggling act I never quite mastered. Then, just as I felt I was getting back up to speed. The pandemic hit. A bit of a kicker to say the least. Talk about one step forward, two steps back (which in greater scheme of things – yes, it’s a tiny violin moment) but at the same time this beauty space was a huge part of ‘me’ and combine that with new-ish motherhood – to say I felt a little lost was an understatement. So you know what’s good to do when feeling lost? Throw in another baby a couple of years down the line! Said in jest, without a doubt my two children are the thing I am most proud of in this world and love more than I can ever put into words. But adapting to being a mum is hard. Really hard. The idea of finding balance feels impossible at times – how on Earth do you find ‘you’ and ‘balance’ when some days finding time to have more than a pits-and-bits wash shower is a luxury?

In fact, my two children are now 5 and 2 and I only now feel like I have the headspace to really put some energy back into my online stuff. Which is fantastic. But at the same time the online world has changed, I’m pushing the big 4-0 and feel like I might just be so out of the beauty content loop that I will never catch up or find my space again. But that doesn’t mean I won’t give it a try.

I will never be the person sharing perfect content. I made an active decision to stop taking on any paid for content back in 2021 – taking the making money part away from it all felt like a relief. Honestly I think making content creation/my blog a part of my full time job sucked a hell of a lot of the enjoyment out of it. Whilst I was always selective about who I worked with – it just never felt as authentic as I wanted it to. Something just never sat quite right with me on that front. Absolutely no shade to anyone who does make a living from their content – huge respect to those who do, especially my peers who have both been doing this as long as me and make it a much more significant financial success than I ever did or would! But the money making side of it? Not for me. Experiences, PR samples and events – absolutely love those perks. But for me, the money just felt like it complicated things more than I liked. It added more comparison and generally sucked the joy away from content and into how much a contract might be negotiated for – that’s not what I got into it for, so taking that away. Felt good.

So back to why I’ve been quiet and inconsistent online? Self doubt? Lack of time? Moving house meaning most of my products been in storage? A multitude of reasons. But I want to add this little spinning plate of beauty content back into my life. It might not be perfect, planned out or high editorial values content. But what it will be will be genuine, honest reviews of stuff I like and want to share. Or just true words out of my head and onto the screen. Like these have been. And yes, it’s felt good to write them down.